The Adventures of the Blood Ninja

A quiet place at the lagoon side for speaking about all and nothing (the financial crisis, sex, your country, sex, hobbies, or...sex)

Re: The Adventures of the Blood Ninja

Postby Tjommi » Wed, 09Apr08 04:11

Ladies and gentlemen,
Those of you that have read my postings across the forum might have allready guessed that I have been around for a while, in general I mean. I got internet relatively early. Back in the late 90's some cyber sex transcrïpts started to pop up on various sites. I was just sitting here surfing here the other day and I suddenly remembered them, I don't really know what triggered it, but I started to search for them. To my amusement and great joy I found em. Some pages had just pieces of them, but I managed to dig up a site that had all of them intact.

Blood Ninja is a fake character, a child of Irc/messanger/aim. The character was created by a humour site that had a group of 10-20 regular people that appeared on various chat programs and set people up into various absurd situations and then posted the chat transcrïpts on their website. The nicks were allways altered to protect the poor victom. Blood ninja was one of the many characters that they made, and with this character they went all the way, where nothing was holy, and they trapped their poor victoms in the most absurd and riddiculous situations.

The reason that I just write about these transcrïpts and don't actually post them here is simple. These transcrïpts are hillarious, many of them are so funny that I litterary fell of my chair and rolled around laughing at the floor. They are however also extremly brutal, crosses just about every thick red line you are not suppose to cross. This is extremely offensive stuff and step on just about every toe on your foot with steel tipped boots.

If you got a good sence of humour, not easily offended and able to take a joke even if it's pushed way way way way to far, then I recommend that you spend a couple of minutes with google and look up The adventures of the Blood ninja.

However If taboo subjects, harrasment and extremely brutal written context offend you, well... don't look it up, and I apologize for wasting the time you spent on reading this post.
Tjommi
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Re: The Adventures of the Blood Ninja

Postby sharkfan » Wed, 09Apr08 09:20

I only read like half a page but I started laughing so hard I had to quit reading. Thanks for the tip. That stuff is too funny. :clap: :clap: :clap:
sharkfan
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Re: The Adventures of the Blood Ninja

Postby Tjommi » Wed, 09Apr08 14:11

Yeah personally I love em.. my 2 favourite transcrïpts are the ones that contain : " I put on my robe and wizard hat... "
Tjommi
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Re: The Adventures of the Blood Ninja

Postby Tjommi » Tue, 09Apr28 02:38

OK what the hell.. I am going out on a limb here and risk posting one of the transcrïpts. This one of the more innocent ones. It is however my favourite transcrïpt. The rest of em you gotta track down yourself, as most of them get way way way out of hand.

Here you are, enjoy :

[i]Legend of Blood Ninja!

While he is already a hero amongst anyone addicted to online cyber sex, they're a few unlearned souls out there who don't know of his majesty, his prowess, his downright legend. I couldn't tell you when he first appeared online, for all I know he's been here all long, rising from time to time like Tim Curry in IT to feast on the souls of the unsuspecting, I don't know where he came from, only that he exists.


To transcribe all of his prose under one post would be a blasphemy, so, to pay homage to his work I'll endeavour to post a different transcrïpt every other day. All of the subsequent dialogues were taken over several chat rooms. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Legend of Blood Ninja...[/i]

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?


Sometime later...(note the savvy name change:)

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
Tjommi
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Posts: 267
Joined: Sun, 09Mar08 00:00
Location: Norway

Re: The Adventures of the Blood Ninja

Postby Tapout » Tue, 09Apr28 07:42

The Blood Ninja Chronicles have always been some of my favorite stuff on the web.


Well, favorites that didn't involve boarding school girls and a nanny :-)
Tapout
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