Stripper Pick-Up

[ZaphodB]

Thanks for helping out ZaphodB

Yeah, what he said

[iksanabot]

I always wondered the process for being a writer for one of these games (i.e., how you managed to write it and someone else did the art). Whatever it is, my idea is more tlaero-style game and not lop engine, so I guess it's pointless.

Anyway, game was ok. Writing was good, although not really a fan of the subject material. Also not a fan of items that aren't used, and I would have liked a way to keep track of if I was answering the correct questions or not.

Ha, yeah I love Tlaero's work too. and I love LOP games, so I'm hoping to find some wonderful marriage between the two that will keep me hard and hungry for the rest of my life.

And for the record, I've never paid for sex and am not really into the idea hiring hookers. But once I did blow a considerable amount of money to see three strippers go down on each other in the VIP room of a small strip club in the middle of nowhere, and every once in a while I wonder how it would have gone if I had asked about whipping my dick out... I'm totally having fun with the smilies today.

Leonizer and I discussed making some changes based on comments here, and tonight (maybe in the next 6 hours or so) he's going to update the game, making it easier to get money, easier to tell how the girls are reacting, and taking out the toilet stall and the condom machine. Plus some added words to the introduction to make it clear money and drugs are important.

Thanks for playing!

[iksanabot]

...and thank you for taking the trouble to give such a detailed reply.

I hope you're not too discouraged by anyone's comments. It's still a pretty good game by anyone's standards - no matter that it's your first attempt at this type. There's obviously been a lot of thought gone into the game - and from things I've read elsewhere, some of the ideas that didn't make the final cut were pretty good too (although I wouldn't count the toilet cubicle among them )

I was actually too occipied trying to play the game but having read Tlearo's observations I think she's got it just about right...

I'll certainly be looking out for your next adventure.

Yeah, the cubicle idea was pretty dumb.
Thanks for the encouragement!

[iksanabot]

I got to say that lessonofpassion games are getting much harder than before.
For example in this game i dislike that i earn money gambling and have to restart game many times to gamble again until get 100 dollars.

This is top 5 games of Lesson of passion i like most:
1. Jordan 500: HCC
2.Claire: The exchange student
3.Glamour living with britney
4.The Bitcher
5.Abyss: The Rise of Cthulhu

Those games are simple and i find them best

Hi Ianopolos,
Thanks for playing.
We're changing the game to make it easier to get money, but I will also tell you there is other ways to make money besides the slot machine. Try talking to the guy at the stage...

[iksanabot]

1) "Mistress" alone
2) Angel & Devil 3some and
3) All 3 strippers together....
We've already established there's no sex scene with the dancer - So what's the fourth?

You can get a BJ from Mistress

That's right, and to give just a little more detail:

You have to pay Mistress to get her to give you a BJ, plus you have to buy her a drink, buy three dances in a row from her, and say things to her that let her know you wouldn't mind paying for sex.

[iksanabot]

Thanks for helping out ZaphodB

Yeah, what he said

[Agrippa]

Hello Iksanabot,

First of all, congratulations on finishing your first game! That's the biggest and hardest step you can take as a writer/game-designer/canine-hairdresser: finishing something. And you deserve to celebrate it. I'd tell you to have a cookie, but the flashbacks to my traumatic past with "cookie clicker" forbid me to.

Usually, I wouldn't say anything at this point, seeing as the game has already been reviewed and anything worth-saying has already been said by someone else (darn good analysis and advice, by the way; you are lucky to get quality feedback like that), but, well, you literally asked for it, so here goes my long-winded and self-important tirade:

- Puzzles:

I admit my own puzzle making skills are seriously lacking, so everything I can tell you here will be a case of the kettle calling the pot black. The main problem I had with the puzzles was the over-abundance of red herrings that, in one case, led to getting stuck on an (otherwise non-issue) RNG trap; that was the second problem, because the Random Number God hates me almost as much as I hate him. But my ill-fortune aside, I believe most problems in this area arose from miscommunication: the game and I did not understand each-other.

It has already been stated that the "two cups and he'll fall asleep" was misleading; but the dialogs with the dancers had, quite often, the same answer to my lines--whether right or wrong--with no way of knowing what I had to do differently other than taking notes in a notepad (or cheating and peeking at the comments, of course). I understand that it's tempting to see the medium of the game as part of the experience and to design it accordingly (in this case, thinking that the commenters will share their findings); but I believe that a narrative as brief as this one should remain self-contained to keep a modicum of suspension of disbelief. But enough about puzzles; I always sucked at them. I am a bit better with...

- Dialogue:

There was some witty reparteé here and there, some phrases that made me crack a smile, and the grammar was thankfully good; but there was one problem: impersonality. The characters, aside from Angel and Devil, did not feel like characters at all and everything they said felt like they were in a... well, in a porn game. And that's okay. Because...

- Story:

Story is always about theme. A husband cheats on his wife? Depending on the theme, we will see it quite differently, as it can be a story about betrayal, about fading romance or even about redemption. Each theme, each angle, will bring a different story that will require different characters to play the parts said story demands them to play. In this case, the story was "horny jerk wants to get some in a strip club" and the theme was "variety of sexual positions and cumshots". It wasn't a reinterpretation of Plutarch's "Parallel Lives" (thank God, the kind of person that would get horny with that makes Heath Ledger's Joker look like a nice enough chap); it was porn. And it did what it had to do.

And that's all that matters.

When you do something creative, when you pour your heart and soul into an endeavor that you want others to appreciate and enjoy, there's a paradox in how you measure its success: you need others to enjoy it, yet you can't rely on their judgment. Because, at the end of the day, you are the one who brought it into this world, you are the one who knew its purpose--its mission-- and only you can know if it failed. Or if it succeeded.

Case in point: you set out to do an erotic game that did things differently because you felt other games didn't offer you what you wanted. In the course of making it, you have collaborated with one of the biggest producers of online erotic games and are already on your second project. I don't know you well enough to be sure of this, but I would count that as a resounding success.

Welcome to the team. To future success!

Agrippa

PS: Welcome, katakana132! I am curious to see what you did with Jordan.
PPS: And now I contradict everything worth-reading in the above post. Someone doesn't hate "Abyss"? Woohoo! Success!

[tlaero]

Thanks Tlaero, I'm really glad you played it. I thought about you a lot while I was writing it, very nervously. Because of your preference for writing female characters with strong character, I was worried you would be offended at my characterization of strippers, and at how the Player's dialogue choices show some disrespect toward them.

...

Thanks again for playing it and for your comments. I'm excited to see what you think about my LOPGold game, Living with Temptation, that should be released sometime this month. It suffers from fewer of these problems I think, and the path is clear right from the start because it's a sim game like Living with Britney - just figure out the best way to build your stats quickly to unlock scenes. But when play testing, I'll have these comments in mind.

I wasn't offended. I mean, they're strippers. I like strong female characters, but not all females on the planet are strong. I'm flattered that you took my opinion into consideration on writing the game and I appreciate the nods you put into their characterization. I liked that there was an opportunity to treat them with a little respect ("As long as it's a song you like") and I especially liked Devil's response when you hit on them at work. You made strippers that aren't ashamed of themselves, instead of "Crack Hoes." Good stuff.

Alas, I don't have LOPGold.

Tlaero

[Dakutis]

Man!! Can someone tell me what you think of it?! Tlaero, Phreaky, TheBrain, Shark, RKshooter, JimmyJohn, all you gamer-brainer folks, people I've beta-tested for, people who inspired me, Graen, Agrippa, Muze, Cugel, Sportd, Fleet, Dakutis, Wolfschadowe, lamont Sanford, Sylakone etc... !? It's my first game for public consumption!! (I wrote the upcoming release on LOPGold, "Living with Temptation" first, but it's not out yet). Can you give me some feedback?
I'm posting this hammered, way-fucking-drunk .
iksanabot

Nice game, I like it. And nice to see myself in the list of people who inspired you

[iksanabot]

Thanks Dakutis, for your comment and for your game .

[iksanabot]

Thanks Tlaero, I'm really glad you played it. I thought about you a lot while I was writing it, very nervously. Because of your preference for writing female characters with strong character, I was worried you would be offended at my characterization of strippers, and at how the Player's dialogue choices show some disrespect toward them.

...

Thanks again for playing it and for your comments. I'm excited to see what you think about my LOPGold game, Living with Temptation, that should be released sometime this month. It suffers from fewer of these problems I think, and the path is clear right from the start because it's a sim game like Living with Britney - just figure out the best way to build your stats quickly to unlock scenes. But when play testing, I'll have these comments in mind.

I wasn't offended. I mean, they're strippers. I like strong female characters, but not all females on the planet are strong. I'm flattered that you took my opinion into consideration on writing the game and I appreciate the nods you put into their characterization. I liked that there was an opportunity to treat them with a little respect ("As long as it's a song you like") and I especially liked Devil's response when you hit on them at work. You made strippers that aren't ashamed of themselves, instead of "Crack Hoes." Good stuff.

Alas, I don't have LOPGold.

Tlaero

I'm glad you weren't offended. I did try to make them seem confident and at peace with themselves - desperation is no turn-on.

I want you to play Living with Temptation, I'm sure we'll figure something out.

[iksanabot]

Leo uploaded a newest version of the game last night, based on feedback we received here, and the rating on PF1 is starting to climb again. After 20 000 plays it had a rating of 83/100. After 100 000 plays it had fallen to 78/100. Now, after about 114 000 plays, it is slowly climbing back up, currently at 79/100 (the score changes more slowly the more times it has been played).

So thanks for the feedback. I'm excited to write another game and show you guys what I've learned!
iksanabot

[iksanabot]

Hello Iksanabot,

First of all, congratulations on finishing your first game! That's the biggest and hardest step you can take as a writer/game-designer/canine-hairdresser: finishing something. And you deserve to celebrate it. I'd tell you to have a cookie, but the flashbacks to my traumatic past with "cookie clicker" forbid me to.

Usually, I wouldn't say anything at this point, seeing as the game has already been reviewed and anything worth-saying has already been said by someone else (darn good analysis and advice, by the way; you are lucky to get quality feedback like that), but, well, you literally asked for it, so here goes my long-winded and self-important tirade:

- Puzzles:

I admit my own puzzle making skills are seriously lacking, so everything I can tell you here will be a case of the kettle calling the pot black. The main problem I had with the puzzles was the over-abundance of red herrings that, in one case, led to getting stuck on an (otherwise non-issue) RNG trap; that was the second problem, because the Random Number God hates me almost as much as I hate him. But my ill-fortune aside, I believe most problems in this area arose from miscommunication: the game and I did not understand each-other.

It has already been stated that the "two cups and he'll fall asleep" was misleading; but the dialogs with the dancers had, quite often, the same answer to my lines--whether right or wrong--with no way of knowing what I had to do differently other than taking notes in a notepad (or cheating and peeking at the comments, of course). I understand that it's tempting to see the medium of the game as part of the experience and to design it accordingly (in this case, thinking that the commenters will share their findings); but I believe that a narrative as brief as this one should remain self-contained to keep a modicum of suspension of disbelief. But enough about puzzles; I always sucked at them. I am a bit better with...

- Dialogue:

There was some witty reparteé here and there, some phrases that made me crack a smile, and the grammar was thankfully good; but there was one problem: impersonality. The characters, aside from Angel and Devil, did not feel like characters at all and everything they said felt like they were in a... well, in a porn game. And that's okay. Because...

- Story:

Story is always about theme. A husband cheats on his wife? Depending on the theme, we will see it quite differently, as it can be a story about betrayal, about fading romance or even about redemption. Each theme, each angle, will bring a different story that will require different characters to play the parts said story demands them to play. In this case, the story was "horny jerk wants to get some in a strip club" and the theme was "variety of sexual positions and cumshots". It wasn't a reinterpretation of Plutarch's "Parallel Lives" (thank God, the kind of person that would get horny with that makes Heath Ledger's Joker look like a nice enough chap); it was porn. And it did what it had to do.

And that's all that matters.

When you do something creative, when you pour your heart and soul into an endeavor that you want others to appreciate and enjoy, there's a paradox in how you measure its success: you need others to enjoy it, yet you can't rely on their judgment. Because, at the end of the day, you are the one who brought it into this world, you are the one who knew its purpose--its mission-- and only you can know if it failed. Or if it succeeded.

Case in point: you set out to do an erotic game that did things differently because you felt other games didn't offer you what you wanted. In the course of making it, you have collaborated with one of the biggest producers of online erotic games and are already on your second project. I don't know you well enough to be sure of this, but I would count that as a resounding success.

Welcome to the team. To future success!

Agrippa

PS: Welcome, katakana132! I am curious to see what you did with Jordan.
PPS: And now I contradict everything worth-reading in the above post. Someone doesn't hate "Abyss"? Woohoo! Success!

Thanks for this Agrippa! I really like your writing and I am going to try harder in the future to give more depth to my characters and create more of a mood. I think with Living with Temptation I have done a lot better at characterization and mood, we'll see what you think. In Stripper Pick-up, the subject matter was so shallow I guess it encouraged me to be shallow. But now I'm basing characters off girls I've had a crush on in the past (I've never had a crush on a stripper, though I have wanted to fuck one or two pretty fucking badly), so they should have more depth in future games.

Nice to be affiliated with you

iksanabot

[NewGuy]

Leo uploaded a newest version of the game last night, based on feedback we received here, and the rating on PF1 is starting to climb again. After 20 000 plays it had a rating of 83/100. After 100 000 plays it had fallen to 78/100. Now, after about 114 000 plays, it is slowly climbing back up, currently at 79/100 (the score changes more slowly the more times it has been played).

So thanks for the feedback. I'm excited to write another game and show you guys what I've learned!
iksanabot

Definitely like the changes; enough money at the start to be able to get into the meat of the game right away (if you notice the cash on the ground outside), and the nice/kinky indicators give players feedback to understand how their choices are working out. I also like that you've removed the unused location/items and blocked some of the useless paths (like repeatedly giving tips to the dancer).

[gamebp]

(like repeatedly giving tips to the dancer).

too bad, i found it was a cool trick.
Also for the unused locations, it makes the game easier but it doesn't make it look more realistic, now nearly everything seems usable in the game.
Being able to know your levels is useful.