Afternoon to Remember

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Afternoon to Remember

Postby MaxCarna » Sat, 17Mar04 19:26

Authorized by shark

Hi everybody

We are finally ready to share our project so others authors and users can give us feedback

Meggy wrote the history on Twine, I used Daz Studio to generate pictures and Narigone programmed using JS.

Here is the link to play, there is no need to download: http://afternoon-to-remember.netlify.com/

The story is complete but probably there are bugs, we would like with you guys could test it and help us.

I also bought some products from Daz marketplace to improve scenes on the next releases..

Features: MF, FF, MMFF, Voyeurism, Mental Coercion/Blackmail*, Hairplay

Thank you for your time
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby Sarchx » Sat, 17Mar04 23:35

I do get 1 bug.
If you don't go look for the yellow bikini girl, after Best Western.
Error: scene "GoHomeAfterFuckingJessica" not found. Available scenes:


And a comment [img]images/icones/icon10.gif[/img]
There's not much buildup, and Jessica seems to be ready for anything, regardless that you've been flirting for a long time, with nothing happening. (Am thinking mostly about the action upstairs).
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby xravensfan » Sun, 17Mar05 04:22

Pretty nice. Lots of work using the models.



Sometimes the text is already scrolled to the bottom when you go to a new scene...
If you choose to ask her to rub yours after you rub hers... it repeats the text 2x.


It would be nice to have a save, or restore...

But well done. More patreon would get support from here if they would post up free stuff. Let us see their work, and we may be willing to follow them.
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby MaxCarna » Sun, 17Mar05 07:35

Hi,

Narigone will take a look the error "scene ... not found" and text 2x.

We had noticed the text staying on the bottom, we will research an way to reset the scroll.

About save, we thought about it, but as the paths are relatively short, we risked that begin from the start would be more challenging. We can review that.

What did you think about navigation?

Thank you for your comments
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby narigone » Wed, 17Mar08 03:50

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the feedback. I'll be working on bug-fixes this Thursday and will prioritize the ones you found.

Hope you're enjoying it
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby TheGreatJoeGargery » Thu, 17Mar09 15:09

I first want to start off by saying I like this game and it is a good start, but I agree with Sarhx in regards to there not being enough buildup. I'd probably put in at least two more scenes in between the buildup and the sex. Also there seems to be large exposition dumps where the player has to read a large amount of information over a single image. This could be broken up a bit by dividing the text into a few images to give a bit more eye candy as the player reads. Instead of the opening intro you could have a conversation with someone (or a few people) when you first arrive to say all of that information that is dumped as exposition and put it in a conversation instead. You could also look at what isn't necessary and present that information in conversations with people to add a bit of flavor to the response (I'm thinking the smell of coconut suntan oil, how hot it is, etc. could be used in dialogue choices or responses to those choices). For example when you first arrive you could also get a call from one of your male coworker friends who can't be there. The call could take place over a few pictures which shows you transitioning out of your car. You could tell him that you don't want to be there and he could say he defiantly wishes he were there considering hot Emily is and then makes fun of you over how you flirt with Jessica at the office. You could then tease him by saying that you have to go because Emily is coming up to you now and tease him that she is wearing sexy cut off shorts and a bikini top. After the call you could meet Emily like pictured in the cut scene and have a short conversation about what's going on at the party (she could lament about all the men are hunkered down in the shade on their phones and tablets). I'd try to present information like that instead of large chunks of dialogue. Either that or try to break up some of the larger chunks of dialogue later in the game and have that information presented as responses to dialogue choices.

In regards to buildup my recommendation would be instead of having the young blond girl walk by when you first speak to Jessica, just make that a normal conversation with Jessica. When she starts talking about her husband, have her talking about him in glowing terms. Have your dialogue choices direct her to start talking about him negatively. Focus that scene to just being a scene where you bypass the fact that she has a husband. Try to break down some of the large chunks of dialogue and put those into responses to questions you actually have to ask Jessica.

Next have the option to either go to the bar normally, or perhaps hang out by the pool. You two may even go for a swim. There could be some dialogue choices but the focus of the pool should be the two of you having fun together. You could look at the young blond girl at the pool from there and Jessica could notice. She could just taunt you about it. Perhaps Jessica wants to leave the pool but you can't because you have an erection and you have to wait to calm down and have to admit that to Jessica (or not and have Jessica leave the pool while you stay in for a while). Jessica could start to taunt you with sexually suggestive talk at that point to tease you a little bit. She then says she'll get out of the pool and get you a towel to wrap around your waist to make the erection less noticeable when you leave the pool but you then "owe her a favor". After you get out of the pool you could transition to the bush scene, or you could add another scene where Jessica uses her favor to get you to put sunscreen on her. She does her own front first in a teasing way and then she lies face down, on a beach chair and you apply more sunscreen. to her back. She makes sure the chair is facing the blond girl and teases you more about how hot she is while you apply sunscreen to her back. She'll unclasp her top mid way through so you can get all of her back. When you're done you can then transition to the bush scene.

If you go to the bar you could instead have Jessica and the player sit down at a table drinking and perhaps throw in a game of "never have I ever". The order of the questions should start innocently enough but progress to being naughtier. Questions like "Never have I Ever though about having sex with a member of the opposite sex", "Never have I Ever had a one night stand" and "Never have I Ever though about someone else when I was having sex" could start conversations that could naturally end up with you guys deciding to go to the hotel or the upper room with the two teenagers. If you get to the raunchy questions too early then she decides to leave and it ends the game, if you pick the questions in the right sequence then it progresses the game. There could be a "Never have I ever" question that ends up in a conversation about cock size where she talks about the biggest cock she's ever taken and asks yours. You say something impressive and she doesn't believe you. She demands to see it and you go off somewhere quiet to show her. She demands to see it at "full size" and gives you a quick handjob. After she sees your cock you two make the decision to either go to the top floor of the clubhouse or the hotel.
Last edited by TheGreatJoeGargery on Wed, 17Mar15 03:20, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby MaxCarna » Thu, 17Mar09 17:21

TheGreatJoeGargery wrote:I first want to start off by saying I like this game and it is a good start, but I agree with Sarhx in regards to there not being enough buildup. I'd probably put in at least two more scenes in between the buildup and the sex.


Joe

Really thank you, it is a deep analysis, with many suggestions, I will ask Meggy to take a look on it, because she rules the story.

About the larger texts and few pictures, when I received the story on Twine, there was larges texts box, like the intro (All intro until the first choice was only one box). So I started to break it in almost one phrase at time. I did that on the first scenes and on the hotel scenes. The process was taking too long, everybody was anxious to see if we would be able to cover all history. We didn't have all Daz Studio props at that time.

So we decided to make just one picture for each box, covering all boxes and completing the story. One of the goals that we announced on the P.a.t.r.e.o.n page is insert more pictures between scenes, breaking the text in small pieces.

Specially in the foursome scene, the texts are really large, I want to introduce several pictures there


I voted to launch the game with less pictures, to get public feedback sooner, and decided what to improve first. As I work on large software projects, I learned that we never meet requirements right, direct from the paper. The sooner the user put his eyes on the project, less were spent on disposable code. We become able to make the right changes on time.

At this time, there are 220 pictures and 4 "animations" (javascript loops with more less 8 pictures each). I also wish to introduce new animations on sex scenes.
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby lagoonfish » Thu, 17Mar09 20:56

I wonder if you could provide this game for download and offline play?
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby TheGreatJoeGargery » Fri, 17Mar10 00:49

MaxCarna wrote: At this time, there are 220 pictures and 4 "animations" (javascript loops with more less 8 pictures each). I also wish to introduce new animations on sex scenes.


I am very excited to see a finished product. As an early draft I still really enjoyed playing it so I imagine a full game after some more development and polish will be amazing. I also just realized during a replay that Jessica is wearing a one piece suit and not a two so one of my suggestions can't be used. She looks great in that one piece though :)
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby narigone » Fri, 17Mar10 13:41

@lagoonfish

A mobile version of it is on our Roadmap. As it is, if you access it one a mobile browser, it already responsively fits the screen. So I'm planning to use some tech like Ionic to build a package and place it on mobile stores.

A PC/Mac version is going to take longer. I don't know if there is a viable way to port it yet. But If I do, yes, I do plan to put it on as many platforms as possible. :)

@TheGreatJoeGargery

Thanks for the feedback. Glad you enjoyed what we have so far.
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby narigone » Fri, 17Mar10 16:26

Kind of off-topic, but if anyone one wants to take a look at the game engine used, it's here:

https://github.com/narigone/little-game ... that-could
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby lagoonfish » Sun, 17Mar12 00:38

narigone wrote:A PC/Mac version is going to take longer. I don't know if there is a viable way to port it yet. But If I do, yes, I do plan to put it on as many platforms as possible. :)


I don't get it, it looks like the game is written in html+java script and should work in any standard browser on any platform.
So what do you mean with 'porting' it to a different platform?
All it needs for offline play is an archive for download that contains all the game files, folder structure, html, js, css and images...
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby Greyelf » Sun, 17Mar12 23:12

lagoonfish wrote:All it needs for offline play is an archive for download that contains all the game files, folder structure, html, js, css and images...
This is assuming that there is no web-server component or database requirement for the Bootstrap based web-application. [img]images/icones/icon10.gif[/img]
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby MaxCarna » Mon, 17Mar13 23:46

lagoonfish wrote:I don't get it, it looks like the game is written in html+java script and should work in any standard browser on any platform.
So what do you mean with 'porting' it to a different platform?
All it needs for offline play is an archive for download that contains all the game files, folder structure, html, js, css and images...


Some resources like the the autofit feature doesn't work in stand-alone. We are trying to make the game available in as many platforms as possible. We are almost realasing on Newgrounds, some changes were required.

Narigone is a little overwhelmed with other projects, but we will pursue this goal.
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Re: Afternoon to Remember

Postby meggymiccy » Tue, 17Mar14 01:42

Thanks to all who have taken a look at this and offered up some really great suggestions.

I wrote the thing originally with an eye to simply create an entertaining TWINE diversion, which probably reflects in the style. I wrote it without a thought in the world about there being illustrations. That's a failing - one I'm trying to correct with the second story/game I'm working on which I'm writing with the assumption (assurance, really) that there will be illustrations.

I think the second element to address is that some portions of the game have a proper number of illustrations and some have one illustration for entire sequences. As Max said, I think we need to work on that to balance out the experience (and because there are some elements in there I'd *love* to see illustrated that we didn't get to). I'll take the hit for that. I finished the text (about a year's worth of work off-and-on) and then handed it over to the others on the team. I felt terrible about the amount of time it was taking Max to illustrate with a computer, and to make it easier on him suggested fewer illustrations. Hopefully as we grow in ability and - with help - popularity we can find the tech we need to make that process easier for Max. But he was willing to do the heavy lifting and I encouraged us to take the easy route. Yeah, that's on me.

The buildup is the most common criticism of what I've done, and it's a fair criticism. I love the suggestions that have been offered up to expand sequences in the work and if the team thinks it's worth it for me to go back and write a few dozen more panels for this game (as opposed to continuing work on K2) then that's what I'll do.

Again, I so much appreciate the feedback from the community.
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